


In which Gonta and Iruma get locked in the AV room

by ghaskan



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 15:18:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14358192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghaskan/pseuds/ghaskan
Summary: It's not as dirty as it sounds.





	In which Gonta and Iruma get locked in the AV room

“That fucking dickless son of a--”

“Iruma-san, Gonta thinks that’s enough!”

Iruma growled, glaring at the man towering above her. “Haa?! But I was about to get to the best part!” Exhaling deeply, she placed her hands above her hips, a frown on her face. “Listen Gonta, you can lick that gremlin’s boots all you want, but I ain’t gonna stand idle and let him have the last laugh. I, the genius girl with a golden brain, refuse be one upped by textbook Fujoshi bait!”

Gonta folded his arms across his chest, eyebrows knitting. “Uh, Gonta is not smart enough to understand all of what Iruma-san has told him…”

She waved his concerns. “Don’t worry about that! More importantly, we’ve gotta find a way to get out of this cramped room, before… before…” Her fierce expression mellowed as the words trailed out of her mouth.

“Before Iruma-san and Gonta die of thirst?”

Iruma bared her teeth. “No, stupid! Why are you so goddamn--” Blushing, she twirled her finger around one of her golden locks. “Actually, yes, thirst might be an issue… Say, Gonta, what do you think happens when a man and a woman get stuck in an AV room?”

Wreathed in smiles, Gonta confidently raised a hand. “Oh, oh, Gonta knows!” He turned around to pick up a DVD case from the shelves lined along the wall. “They watch movies about insects together!”

A silence that only cricket noises could pierce filled the room. Cricket noises, and also the sound of Iruma squeaking and breaking into ugly crying. “To think you’d answer that without hesitation!” she stammered. “Am I… am I that unattractive? Less desirable than a… than a…” No matter how much self-loathing had taken hold of her, Iruma still couldn’t muster the strength to finish such unflattering comparison.

“O-of course not!” Gonta blurted out. “Gonta thinks Iruma-san is a prim and proper--uh, _mostly_ proper lady!” He tapped his index finger on his chin. “Could it be that Iruma-san wants to watch something else?”

Iruma blinked at the compliment. “Y-you think so?” A vicious grin founds its way back on her face. “Well, then...” She reached out to the shelves behind Gonta and grabbed a case that had caught her attention long ago. “How about we watch THIS!” she said, shoving the case in Gonta’s face.

Puzzled, Gonta squinted his eyes while he examined the cover. A heartbeat later he stumbled backward, screaming wildly as though he had been cornered by a dangerous beast. The pair of well-endowed ladies _au naturel_ , proudly exhibiting their goods under a cheap-looking title, had been too much for him to handle.

Iruma grunted impatiently. “C’mon, Big Dick! Don’t be a pussy!”

“Iruma-san! As a gentleman, Gonta would never--!”

Before Gonta could bring his moral crusade to bear, Iruma put the DVD on the player.

That was it. Gonta snapped.

Howling, he charged towards the locked door, which tumbled before the might of his strong shoulder. Running faster than even the swats of late people swarming a rush hour subway, he vanished from Iruma’s sight before she had the time to hit “Play”.

“Uugh! I had only wanted to watch a movie with the meathead,” she sobbed.

After Iruma was done covering her upper lip in snot, she cleaned the mess with the back of her hand and fixed her messy hair. Hands on her hips, she looked at the felled door. “Well, at least that’s one problem solved--wait...” Smugness returned to her face. “Hell yeah, that’s right! I’m a fucking genius! I had the solution figured out all along!” She strutted out of the AV room, her chin lifted to better showcase her nose, which looked sharper than usual. “I only had to get Big Dick to force the door open! Kyahahahah! Watch out, Ouma! The genius girl with the golden brains to go with her golden looks is coming for you next!”


End file.
